Tina’s story isn’t just hers—it’s for those who know what it’s like to lose a parent, for those whose lives have been upended by grief, for those who’ve carried responsibility beyond their years, and for anyone who needs to be given permission: You deserve to build a life of your own.

Tina Essmaker is writing the book she wished she’d had to read when she was ten years old and her mother died suddenly, forcing her into the role of surrogate caregiver to her bereft father and her twin brother, who was born with a cognitive disability.

Through clear-eyed storytelling, Tina’s writing recreates the world of grief that transformed her family dynamics and invites the reader into the tender inner life of a motherless child, teenager, and young woman who is torn between the weight of responsibility she feels toward her dad and brother, and her strong desire to be free to build a life of her own.

What would Tina’s mother want for her family if she were alive? Essmaker meditates on this question as she wrestles with how much responsibility she can—and should—carry. It’s not until she becomes a mother herself in her late thirties and assumes legal guardianship of her brother, reclaiming a caregiver role by choice, that she gains a new perspective on her childhood and what her mother might want.

Publications

Blue (essay) | Forthcoming publication in october 2025

The Eye Is the First Circle (Essay) | Finalist for Sewanee Review sixth annual Fiction, Poetry, and Nonfiction Contest

past writing

ASKING NOT ASKING Column on wnw magazine

Read Tina’s previous column in collaboration with Working Not Working Magazine, in which she answered questions about how to navigate transitions, challenges, and reinvention along one’s career path.